the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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