Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
