I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.