Little spoons don't ask big questions
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.