That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
