Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize