I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
