he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
