pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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