Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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