He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
