There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
