The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize