your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
