Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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