Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
