Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
