I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
