what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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