its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
