On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
