Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize