Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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