Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
