I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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