So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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