I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
