her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
