my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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