1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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