it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize