I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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