The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
