I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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