I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
