I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize