I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
