is your mom at the bar?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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