i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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