i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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