Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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