Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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