Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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