I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
