i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize