Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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