Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
