At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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