The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
