I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
