Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
