Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
