check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
