You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
