Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
