Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just googled if crying burns calories
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
