why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
