There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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