I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.