Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along. http://tfl.nu/9dyn
  Replies (22) Good night (4575) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends. http://tfl.nu/o9if
  Replies (35) Good night (5756) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway" http://tfl.nu/9cdg
  Replies (36) Good night (3629) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw
  Replies (19) Good night (3508) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together. http://tfl.nu/dxc5
  Replies (15) Good night (3901) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room http://tfl.nu/jxea
  Replies (22) Good night (721) Bad night (4202)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
  Replies (58) Good night (1183) Bad night (7234)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g
  Replies (12) Good night (4038) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function http://tfl.nu/ad1f
  Replies (9) Good night (2545) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS http://tfl.nu/zymg
  Replies (7) Good night (2325) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets. http://tfl.nu/wv2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1221) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (546): View more from

  As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (546): As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/al3c
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator. http://tfl.nu/kcd0
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath. http://tfl.nu/ml02
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits. http://tfl.nu/etyq
  Replies (5) Good night (331) Bad night (465)

Randomize