i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well