Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there was a trapeze. enough said
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
