Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.

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(434): View more from Virginia

i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!

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(404): View more from Georgia

She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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(562): View more from California

Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?

(916): View more from California

My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges

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(415): View more from California

I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.

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